


When You Say Jump, I Ask How High

by BandGirl33



Series: Secrets in Ink [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alex goes into Dad mode, Angst, Ashton pours his heart out, Calum fucked up, Drunk Calum Hood, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad Calum, Tattoos, he got too drunk, he realized some things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-30 19:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BandGirl33/pseuds/BandGirl33
Summary: An end of tour party ends with Calum getting a tattoo while way too drunk and now he has to face the consequences........and the boy who inspired it.





	1. The Blood in My Veins is Made Up of Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my First Fic so please take it easy on me.

Calum realizes how fucked he is when he woke up the next day with a horrendous hangover and throbbing pain on his right hip, he now understood why he was always told never to get a tattoo after drinking too much. There was a brief moment of peace right after he woke up that lasted a solid thirty seconds before his mind registered how much his head……..and hip bone hurt.

Calum pushed the blankets back from the lower half of his body at a snail’s pace. Part of him wanted to stay in the dark about whatever stupid decision he made for as long as he could. The moment his eyes landed on the dainty tattoo of drumstick on his hip everything from the night before came flooding back to him.

~Flash Back~

There was endless shot being lined up for the boys, who were already pretty drunk, each having a different preference of poison.

Ashton was the first to talk as the boy get ready to down the drinks, “To the end of one of our best tours and to the best album we could have come up with!” Each of the boys raised their respective drinks, clinking the glasses together and downing the burning liquid.

Something about the way the lights bounced off of Ashton’s hair seemed to trigger something in Calum’s mind. The only thing going through his mind was Ashton Beautiful Ashton Beautiful Ashton Beautiful. It was like everything in his life made sense, every action he took around the hazel eyed boy was suddenly clear.

It took about five minutes of Calum having an internal freak out before he heard Luke’s voice cut through his thoughts, “Cal are you good man?” The blond boy looks down at him with a concerned expression, like he was ready to fight whoever or whatever was upsetting the tan boy. Luke always seemed ready to fight by the end of tour.

All Calum could do was give the boy a brief smile and respond with a, “Yeah I’m good.” A response he knew Luke didn’t believe.

They were at the club a few more hours, each boy getting completely blitz off of the half-priced alcohol they were getting, at least fame was good for something. It was around 11pm when Calum couldn’t stand to watch his boy, did he really just call him his boy, flirt with endless blond sluts. He needed a release from his mind so he strolled through the front doors of the dingy bar they were at only to stumble upon the best thing his drunk mind could think off, an equally as dingy tattoo shop.

~End Flashback~

Calum could remember sitting on the table drunkenly explaining what he wanted and why, describing Ashton in detail. He is still taken aback they someone would even consider giving him a tattoo with how drunk he was, he is so fucked.

He managed to hide the tattoo for about two and a half weeks before shit hit the fan. He basically hit away in long t-shits and sweater, never taking his pant and shit off with boys around.

Michael was the first to notice how off Calum was, stating “I have never seen you go so long without strutting around naked, are you feeling okay?” Calum tried to cover his Panic of someone noticing but Mikey knows him like the back of his hand, he was about to be busted. He could see the moment Michael registered that, no, he wasn’t okay, and he was clearly hiding something under his shirt. Calum didn’t register that his hands moved to grip the bottom of his shirt like it was suddenly going to blow away.

He knew something bad was happening when all Mike did was nod and walk out. With his mind in overdrive he started running around the room to collect all of his things so that he could make it to the bus and hide before he could be cornered. He was seconds away from making his escape bore the door was being blocked by three tall bodies.

Next thing Calum knew he was being pinned to the couch in their dressing room while he had multiple sets of hands trying to pry his shirt off. If it had just been Michael or even Michael and Luke, he could have gotten away, but Ashton alone had double the muscles that even Calum had. He knew the moment he felt Ashton’s extra-long fingers prying his hands open he was fucked.

Soon enough his torso was naked, he was crying, and the boys were staring at him in shock. He could feel everyone’s eyes zeroed in on the tattoo. Something in Calum snapped so he flung himself off the couch, grabbing his shirt on the way and took off running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave some kudos and suggestions for future prompts or chapters.


	2. I'm Mastering the Art of Miracles and Flawless Tragedies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Calum feels like life is caving in on him, he runs to the one place he knows he'll be able to put his mind back together, Mali's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's slow at work so I'm busting out some chapters to get everyone started on this story.

Calum ended up about three miles away from the news station they were at when he got cornered. They had such a good day of press that he thought everything in his mind would blow over, he thought that he was safe.

He stopped running when he could hear the water from a nearby river, something about it made him want to just sit on the bank and cry, and that’s exactly what he did. He cried for about two hours before he decided that it was late enough for all the boys to be asleep, it was around 12:30 when he started walking back and around three AM when he actually climbed back onto the bus. Calum wasn’t all to shocked to see that the only one still up was Michael.

Calum passed the colourful boy without looking or speaking to him but he heard the boy get up once he made it in front of his bunk. A soft whisper met his ears as he climbed into his bed, “Cal I’m so sorry, I didn’t….” Calum cut him off with a short, Sharp “Fuck off Mike,” and with that, he shut the curtains and curled into himself letting the tears flow down his cheeks.  
~  
~   
~  
Calum woke up feeling like he got ran over by with a truck after meltdown hangovers are the worst. He knew they didn’t have any promo until later in the day so the most he would have to deal with before having to leave was running into anyone while going to the bathroom and having to shower. 

It was nearing two PM when he decided that he needed to pee bad enough that he needed to get up he grabbed what he needed so that he could shower, making it easier for him to go back to hiding until it was promo time. He took a big breath, willing himself to push himself out of his bunk.

The moment his feet touched the floor he could feel three different sets of eyes on him from the front of the bus, it took only a split second to realize that he was just in his underwear. His boxers were sitting low, and his torso was bare leaving his hip on full display. Calum didn’t have the energy to try and cover himself, he was emotionally drained from crying so hard last night that all he could do was grab his shit and walk to the back. 

It took Michael longer to squeeze himself into the small bathroom after Calum had gotten into the shower than he thought it would. He heard the soft creak of the door opening and shutting, he let out a deep sigh letting Michael know that he heard him enter. The pale boy sat in silence for a few more minutes before he started speaking, “What the hell is going on Cal, when and why did you get that?” Calum didn’t know how to answer because he himself didn’t know what made his feeling change so suddenly.

Michael almost didn’t hear Calum’s timid response, “it was the night we had the end of tour party, I got too drunk.” That was the only explanation he could give to the boy, he knew if he kept talking everything would come out, all of his feeling would be laid out on the table for everyone to see. He heard Michael shift around where he was sitting on the end of the sink before he spoke again, “He likes you too, ya know. He always has had a soft spot for you, even when you were a pimply faced 15-year-old.” Calum could hear the fondness in Michaels voice, his only response was a sharp “Michael I don’t need your pity or lies to make me feel better, I did this to myself. Please get out.”

Calum was hoping he would leave soon because the water was getting cold and he was crying again. Luckily Michael got the hit and let the boy finish his shower in peace. By the time he stepped out from under the water he was freezing and ready to go back to sleep. He was stopped on his way back to his bunk, not fully dressed, by Zoe telling him he had 20 minutes until they hit the first radio station of the day. Only 20 minutes left for him to hide from the world, and Ashton.

He didn’t realize he was zoning off until Luke walked by his bunk, hitting the wall telling him it was time to leave, thankfully not stopping to force Calum to talk. Luke could always tell when Calum was and wasn’t ready to talk, while Michael may have known him longer and may be like his brother, Luke could read people batter than anyone else in the band. Luke could tell when people needed to be left alone inside their own minds when they didn’t, Calum was grateful for that.

The rise to the Radio Station was tense. He knew the silence between the Drummer and Bassist was making everyone, even the driver, uncomfortable. All he could do from breaking down again was to shove his headphones in his ears and blast the heaviest thing he could find.  
~  
Michaels POV  
~  
A huge part of Michael felt responsible for what seems like the implosion of his band. He watched his best friend closely, waiting for the moment he could hear the heavy music coming from his headphones, before turning around to Ashton and Luke who were squeezed into the back row of the van. He gave each boy a pointed look before he started speaking, “We need to do something, he doesn’t believe his feeling are retuned and he’s starting to shut down on us. The last time he got so far into his own head and no one did anything about it he had booked a plane ticket in the middle of the night and didn’t tell anyone where he was going until he showed up on Mali’s door step.” Michael spoke so fast that he gave a huge gasp after his speech was done.  
He looked between the boys who each held a shocked expression and seemed like they were mentally a searching with how to respond. After getting annoyed with the silence from the two boys he gave them an eye roll and turned around in his seat, catching a glimpse of Calum’s phone where he was very obviously booking a plane ticket, shit he was already running for the hills.  
~  
Calum’s POV  
~  
He started texting Zoe the moment he made it into the car and had his music playing, he needed to know how soon he could get out of here. They texted back a forth a few times before it was settled, he would leave after promo tomorrow and figure out his return when he makes it to Mali’s. He could feel Michaels eyes on him, he knew the boy could see his screen, he knew Michael knew he was running away again, he just hoped that his best friend would at least wait to say anything to the others until he was gone.   
~  
~  
~  
Calum kept to himself for the 24 hours leading up to his flight to his sisters. He ended up Face timing Mali once he made it back on the bus, he figured he owed her a call before booking his flight. All it took for Mali to agree to anything was her answering the call to a crying Calum saying that he needed to get out of the stated for a while and that he would explain more when he got there. He packed what he needed that night, Zoe agreeing to have the rest of his stuff dropped off at his house while he was gone. 

He felt the shift in the air the next morning while he was finishing getting his stuff rounded up, he could tell that all the boys knew he was leaving but none of them said anything to keep him from going. When he walked out to the front of the bus with his stuff he tried his best not to make eye contact with any of the boys but failed miserably when he locked eyes with Ashton, he could see the pain radiating from the hazel eyed boy. 

He forced himself to look away from the boy who inspired this mess, if he looked any longer he would break. He grabbed his bags and hitched his backpack up higher, getting himself grounded before he made his way off the but and towards the airport. In the time it took for him to get checked in, make it through TSA, and onto the plain he was crying again. Part of Calum knew that he might not make it back this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and thoughts


	3. And Even Though It’s Such a Simple World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum is shocked to find out that everyone already knew how much he loved Ashton, even if he didn't.

Calum was grateful that they were in New York for the last few promos stops because that meant that he had a direct flight to the UK. After boarding the plane, he instantly connected to the inflight Wi-Fi and scrolled through twitter, trying to check back into the world since he’s been so checked out. This lasted about an hour until he stumbled across a series of tweets between his bandmates.

Michael5SOS: What a way to start a break.

Luke5SOS: @Michael5SOS He just needs time, we know where to find him.

Ashton5SOS: @Michael5SOS @Luke5SOS This isn’t a conversation for twitter guys, just drop it. It doesn’t even involve you two.

Michael5SOS: @Ashton5SOS @Luke5SOS I’m the one who caused this, let me be upset.

Ashton5SOS: @Michael5SOS @Luke5SOS I said drop it, the world doesn’t need to know every time we hit a bump in the road.

Calum just stared at his screen trying to figure out how to address this. The fans caught on to the fact that he was the only one not involved in the twitter exchange, they knew he was going postal.

Calum5SOS: I don’t know if I’m cut out for this anymore.

His tweet was simple but got the point across. Within second his phone was blowing up with messages from the group chat for the boys. He didn’t open the thread but with each notification he got he knew the boys figured out he was thinking about not coming back. He was going to screw up the band if he did. His mind was tired so he let the gentle sway of his flight lull him to sleep.  
~  
~  
~  
A sweet flight attendant came buy and nudged Calum awake about 15 minutes before landing, giving him enough time to get his wits about him before having to face his sister and possibly fans. He sat his seat up and forced himself to down what was left of the coffee he got before falling asleep, grimacing past the cold, stale taste. He needed to get out of the airport as soon as he could, so he dug his phone out of his pocket to ask his sister where she wanted him to meet her.

Anyone who looked at Calum could tell he was crying bore he fell asleep. He knew he looked like a mess and was thankful that the one person who recognized him, while he made his way through the airport, just smiled and waved instead of coming to talk to him. He knew there was probably going to be photos of him looked wrecked all over the internet by the end of the day, he didn’t have the energy to care about it though, he just needed his sister.  
He made his way to the front of the airport where his sister was parked waiting for him. Once he made it through the door Mali gave him a sad smile while getting out to give him a hug and help with his bags. The moment he was wrapped in her arms he broke down, sobbing with such force it shook both of the siblings. Mali lead her crying brother to the car and shoved him in, letting him curl up in a ball while he continued to cry.

The ride to His sister’s house was quit except for the soft sniffles he was producing. He saw the look on his sister face, it was one of worry but it also held something that said, “The moment we get home you are telling me what’s going on whether you like it or not.” He just nodded at her so that she knew he was going to do exactly that, even if she hasn’t spoken the thought out loud yet, she didn’t need to. She was the only one he could trust to be neutral about this, almost unbiased.

They were silent pulling up the house and while Calum lugged his stuff to his designated room he always had here. He stopped in front of a tall standing mirror Mali had placed in here a few years back, taking in his tired and sad appearance. It was time for him to finally face the music, he had to talk this time no matter how hard it was. His steps across the house were muffled by his socks but Mali heard him, she always knew when he was there. 

He walked slowly into the kitchen where his sister had placed two mugs on the counter, she had made them tea hoping that it helped ease the tension in her brother. He grabbed his cup and went to sit at the table, waiting until Mali had taken her seat as well before he started talking. Calum squeezed his eyes shut and tried to steady his racing heart before he began to speak, “After the last show of tour we went out and had a party. They lined up a mix of shots to get us started, I knew that should have been a sing that it was going to get crazy but I kind of just rolled with it. We were drunk before we even got there so none of us were in the right place to try and slow down the drinks……” He paused to look at his sister but all he got from her was an eyebrow raise telling him to keep going, “When we got the first round Ashton yelled saying he wanted to give a toast. I don’t know if it was the fact that I was already pretty drunk or I was still full of adrenaline but the moment he started talking it was like he was all I could see. I felt like I was home when I looked at him……. like everything made sense, life was okay.”

His sister had her hands wrapped around her mug but was wearing an amused expression, like she knew something he didn’t. He just stared at his sister waiting for her to explain. It was a minute of them just looking at each other before she started speaking, letting out a small giggle along with it, “Finally figured it out did you, mom and I have been taking bets on how long it would take you pull your head out of your ass.” He was floored at what was coming out of her mouth, everyone knew but him and apparently Ashton. He struggled to find the word to keep going but when he did respond, he was pissed, “MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING TO ME BEFORE I WENT OUT AND MADE AN ASS OUT OF MYSELF. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT MY DRUNK AND CONFUSED SELF DID? HERE, LET ME FUCKING SHOW YOU.” He was yelling, he knew he was yelling but he was just so damn angary. He ripped his shirt of so that she has a good view of the small tattoo. He spent the last two days staring at it, two drumsticks placed in an X formation with the smallest little letters under it, AFI.


	4. We Know We're Classic Together like Egyptian Gold, We Love Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum can't run for long. Alex forces the younger boy to face the fact that him leaving was just going to ruin the band, and whatever chance he has with Ashton.......who shows up on Mali's door step.

Calum’s chest was heaving with anger, sadness, and some major embarrassment. He couldn’t look his sister in the eyes after he exploded because he knew how dumb he sounded and looked so he just slid his shirt back on, grabbed his phone and shoes and left. He needed air before he passed out, he felt like he was suffocating.

He finally looked at all the text he had been ignoring since his plane landed. His imbox had a little under 500 unread text, most from the boy but a few from Feldy and one from Alex of ATL. He opened everyone’s text but stopped at Alex’s text, it was simple and straight to the point, reading I’m in the London seeing family, I know you’re with your sister and Mike filled me in on what happened. I’m coming over tonight, I already asked Mali. He swore under his breath, making a promised to himself to never let his best friend know anything ever again. He kept walking until the sun started setting meaning Alex would be showing up to Mali’s soon if he wasn’t already there.

By the time he made it back to his sister’s house Alex was already there sitting on the door step with a beer in his hand. When he got close enough the older man looked up at him and gave him a sad smile, “Mali told me the story, show me what you did to yourself dumbass.” Calum knew there was no harm meant in it so he lifted up the hem of his shirt enough to let Alex get a good look. There was a beat of silence followed by a “Well you can’t back out of it now, might as well just embrace the shit storm you brought on yourself. Have you talked to him?”

“Nope, finished our promo run and got on a plane out here.”

“He’s seen it out right? You guys might as well just talk it out.”

“I don’t think I can go back Alex, I can’t do it anymore.”

“I remember the first time you bailed on everyone and had a meltdown. You begged your mom to let you go back to LA, said you couldn’t picture yourself without the band. Nothing should ever be bad enough to take away what you love kid.”

“That’s the problem, if me wanting to be with Ashton means destroying the band them I’m not going to stay. The boys love the band just as much as I do, they deserve more than me being a selfish asshole.”

“And running away wasn’t selfish. You and Ash are so oblivious to the fact that both feel the same that’s the big problem between you both. Neither of you can see what you both are doing to the band.”

“He doesn’t love me like I love him, I don’t think he ever could.”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself.”

Calum looked at Alex for a few seconds before he realized that Alex’s gaze was going over his shoulder. He knew he was there before he even turned around, he always knew when Ashton was near him. Something about both of the boys meant they were always in sync, they always knew how to find each other. 

He felt a tear sliding down his cheek and his hands shake as he slowly turned to find himself gazing into hit favorite color of eyes. Ashton gave him a small smile, sadness mixed with what Calum could only call fondness in his eyes. Only when he let out the breath he was holding did he realize that he had stopped breathing. It was like the world stopped Existing around them when he saw the boy, like somehow everything was going to be okay.

“I got on the flight right after yours, I wasn’t just going to let you run away from this, away from me.”

Calum sniffled and choked out a bleak, “I’m so sorry Ash.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything to me. You’re feeling are nothing to apologize for babe.”

“Babe?”

“Alex was right, we’ve both been slowly destroying this band because we were both being idiots. You falling in love with me is the best new I have ever hear sicne I’ve been in love with you since you were 17.”

Calum didn’t know how to respond, the tears just started coming faster than before. It was like his world finally had sun, they were going to be okay.

“Thank fucking god.” He choked out past his sobs. His legs gave out with how hard he was crying. He never hit the ground though because Ashton wrapped his body around him, using all his strength to keep the boy up. The three men heard the door open behind them, letting Mali out onto the steps seeing her brother wrapped in Ashton’s arms, both boys crying into each other. She gave Alex a small smile telling him that food was ready, letting him guide the still crying boys into the house.

Before Alex could pull them all the way through the door Ashton peeled himself from Calum’s grip, placing his hands on both sides of Calum’s face and leaning in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have like one more chapter planned for this but I might add some depending on how my brain flows with it.


	5. Your Southern Hospitality Wont Mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy make their way back home and Calum asks the one important question he should have asked weeks ago.

There was a pause, almost as though everyone was holding their breath. Calum felt Ashton’s Lips press against him and it was as if his heart was jumpstarted because he instantly knotted his hands into the older boy’s hoodie, like he was going to disappear if Calum’s grip wasn’t tight enough. Both boys melted into each other, the kiss was sweet and slow making both of them forget there was other people around until Alex let out a small cough followed by “As cute as this is, I’m starving and the food smells great.” Ashton let out a giggle, a noise Calum could never get tired of, leaving his forehead pressed against the youngers. When they both pulled away from each other Calum caught Mali’s eyes giving her a small smile and receiving one in return. Everything was finally going to be okay.  
~  
~  
~  
After a dinner filled with smiles, laughs, and great food, Calum found himself tucked into bed while Ashton showered. He looked at the door when he heard a small knock, his sister strode across the room and plopped herself onto the bed next to her brother, pulling him in for a hug.

“Time for you to go home?”

“Yeah but I think Ash and I can spare a couple days before we head back to the states.”

“I would like that. I’m happy for you Bub, you both deserve to be happy together. You both have been running from this for too long now.”

“Love you Mali, Thanks for letting me have my breakdown here, I don‘t think Mom would let me leave again if I went home to do it.”

“She would if she knew why you ran. Speaking of her knowing, she wants you to call her, your tweet scared her a little bit.”

“I will in the morning.”

“Night Cal, Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Mali was already heading out of the room before he realized that Ashton had been standing in the doorway listening to the exchange between the siblings. His gaze was met with hazel eyes giving him a look filled with love and fondness. He watched Ashton stroll into the room and lay down next to him, pulling Calum into his chest and turning the light off. Ashton could sense how far into his head he was, Calum felt the grip around his waist tighten and heard a soft whisper of “Don’t over think it, we’ll talk in the morning babe.” The statement was punctuated with a soft kiss to his collarbone before Ashton tucked his head into Calum’s neck letting the younger boy breathing lull him to sleep, Calum following shortly behind.  
~  
~  
~  
The boys were at Mali for about a week before they found themselves on a flight back to LA. They were currently at an airport in Dallas for their final layover when Calum decided he wanted to Instagram a photo that he thinks if the best one ever taken. It was a photo of Ashton asleep with his head on Calum’s stomach, Both his new tattoo and the red heart on Ashton’s wrist in plain view. After choosing the photo and filter he handed the phone to Ashton who smiled and started typing out a caption, “Sometimes growing up mean growing the balls to tell your best friend you are in love with them.” Calum laughed at the caption after Ashton had given his phone back for approval before it was posted, having him send the photo to his phone also so they could both post it. He waited until the older boy was typing out the same caption before he pressed send, his phone instantly going nuts with notifications and text messages. 

Neither boy had been checking anything while they were in the UK so both of their phones had a mass amount of texts that neither of them have read. Since they had a few hours to kill they decided it was time to tackle the task of responding to the rest of the band, their moms, and management. Calum assumed that Zoe had taken up the job of breaking the news of what was going on to the label and upper management because the only text he had from them was one that was also send to Ashton saying, “Congrats for getting your lives together, we’ll try and keep the media at bay until the frenzy blows over.” Both boys responded with a thank you and went on to check in the group chat, that consisted of Luke and Michael throwing a fit about being left at home and left out of the drama while also praises for the boys figuring their shit out. 

After letting the boys and they’re moms know they were, in fact, alive and doing well, they moved onto Twitter. Nothing too interesting besides the sea of positivity coming from their fans and friends but one stuck out, making Calum erupt in a fit of laughter.

AlexAllTimeLow: @Calum5SOS Never make me hunt you down in another country ever again.

AlexAllTimeLow: Also, congrats for not being idiots any more boys! @Ashton5SOS @Calum5SOS

Ashton had to pry his phone from his hands to see what the fuss was about before he broke out laughing also. Calum stop laughing way before Ashton does and just watches his boyfriend, is he his boyfriend? 

“Hey, Ash….”

“Yeah, Babe.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?”

“I thought I already was.”

“Yeah but I figured I would do at least one part of this the proper way.”

“Of course, I’ll be your boyfriend you noodle.”

When they landed at LAX they were greeted by the other two members of the band, both deciding to crush the boyfriends in the middle of hundreds of people. In the middle of the doggy pile, Calum’s arm found Ashton, pulling him close, he tucked his head into his boy's neck trying to Zone out the extremely loud yelling of Michaels and the high pitch of Luke’s laugh. He was home, they were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!
> 
> Let me know what ya'll thought about it!


End file.
